He broke up with you. Or you broke up with him. You were in love. You thought he was the one. You already stored images of potential wedding gowns in the back of your mind. And now… you’re alone, and you’ve been filling the empty holes of your heart with Netflix binges and cold pizza. It’s okay, hun. Heartbreak is an inevitable part of life and it’ll make you stronger in the end. But, it’s time to bounce back and reclaim your happiness! If you want to know how to get over a heart break, here is how:
1. Block him. Block him. Block him.
I’m being serious. BLOCK. HIM. You cannot get over your ex if you’re still sending him ten-page long text messages about how much you still love him. Not only is it desperate and irritating (on his behalf), but gives him validation for breaking up with you in the first place! Save what’s left of your dignity and block him! And not just through text; Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Myspace… whatever. Block any and all contact of him! Now!
2. Lean on your loved ones.
He may not love you anymore, but you have people who still love you. No one knows you or loves you better than your friends or family. They will always be there to support you. So, don’t be afraid to vent to or seek guidance from them. Let them take you out for a G.N.O. or a Girls Night In. Let them drown you in “Yea, he’s an asshole” or “You were too good for him anyways.” Just don’t take your anger out on them.
You are allowed to cry about heart break. It does not mean that you are weak. It means that you cared for someone and are now hurting from the loss of them. Crying means that you have feelings. And allowing yourself to cry is, truly, the first step to allowing yourself to smile. So, cry your heart out, sistah! Cry in the shower. Cry in the car on your way to work. Cry while running on the treadmill at the gym (they’ll think it’s sweat, no worries). Cry for a little when you take a toilet break. Cry in between classes. Cry as you walk your dog. Cry it all out.
4. Listen to Paramore.
Any time I’ve had my heart broken, you could find me in my car or in the shower with Paramore’s ‘For a Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic’ on full blast and constant rotation. Whether you have a playlist saved on your iPod labeled “Heart Broken” or are following a few on Spotify, use music as an avenue to express your feelings and release your frustration. Use that steering wheel as a drum set and let loose!
5. Work out… a lot.
It’s just another way to let your frustration out. While he’s over there thinking that you’re going to be miserable without him, prove him otherwise. Turn your sadness and, possibly now anger, into motivation to get that bangin’ body so he wishes he never left you! Sexiness is the best revenge.
6. Read books about finding yourself.
For light-hearted, self empowering books for women, I suggest Jessica Valenti’s ‘Full Frontal Feminism’ and Laurel House’s ‘Screwing the Rules’. To revive your wardrobe, I suggest Derek Blasberg’s ‘Classy’. And to remain spiritually awakened and positive, I recommend Joyce Meyer’s ‘Power Thoughts Devotional’.
7. Meditate and Reflect.
Whether you have to take pilates classes, yoga classes, or give yourself a day-cation to a local spa, it is important to center yourself. You may feel like your world is falling a part and nothing is going your way, but it most definitely is not. The simplest way to meditate is to sit, legs folded, in a dark, quiet room with your eyes closed and envision yourself achieving all of your current goals. Do this for 5 minutes a day. It will help.
8. Get rid of all of his things.
Now that you’re getting your life together, it’s time to cut ties with the past. You can give him back his belongings, burn them, donate them, or store them in a box. The photos, too.
9. Let go and move on.
Not much to say here. At this point, your thoughts of him should be fading. You should start to feel comfortable in not receiving a text every hour from “Boo Bear.” You should also feel more confident in yourself and what you deserve in the future. You are going to be okay without him. As a matter of fact, you’ll be better off without him. Now let me see that Glo’ Up, girl!